Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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