butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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