you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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