i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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