Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize