my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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