i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
