he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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