I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
