omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize