I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
