she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I love you.
Bad choice
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
