and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
