Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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