): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
