i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize