is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Bring me that man meat
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
