I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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