You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
