At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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