Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
