I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he shaved USA in his pubs
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
