Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
