I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
