During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
