Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
