Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize