He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
