Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize