Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
