i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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