He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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