mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
