i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was like getting head from an anaconda
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize