I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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