I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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