his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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