I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
