He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
