4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
soo... how was my night?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
