I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
