Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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