It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
