worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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