I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize