Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
