Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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