the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
