Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
