you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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