Fuck appropriateness.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
