You can't motorboat a personality
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
