My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
