Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
