He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
