Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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