i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
