White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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