you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
