can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
