The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I need a burrito and a hug.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
