so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
