I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
