You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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