As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so explain again why im purple
no
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
