We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
